Dangerous Lies

How to Become a Slut

Aug 22, 2018 | | Say something

Everyone likes sex. If you want to have as much sex as possible, you’ll have to become a slut, someone who sleeps with basically anyone. “But how do I get laid that much?” you might ask. “I want to have sex with a bunch of people, but most people don’t want to have sex with […more]

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The Trial of Jack Scrotie, Installment One: The beginning of the end for a guilty man

Aug 20, 2018 | | Say something

Chapter 1: A Weak and Pitiful Specimen It was April 7th, Matt’s birthday apparently, and his birthday party was a spectacle for the ages. For it was on this glorious day that the criminal traitor Jack Scrotie was convicted of and executed for the crime of quitting the greatest band ever, Kro-Magnon. They say that […more]

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Lying for Sex, installment one: Women are Wonderful

Aug 20, 2018 | | Say something

CHAPTER 1 BREAD-FLAVORED CHEESE As I wander through Wallymart, women walk by me, their scrumptious shit cannons shaking back and forth. Idea for a pick up line: “Please oh God please just let me fuck you, for I am desperate.” Normally, when people are scanning for a checkout line at a supermarket, they search for […more]

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How to Defeat Depression

Aug 20, 2018 | | Say something

Hi, I am Morthrod, your new leader. Obey me and you will prosper. Sadness is a thing we all experience from time to time. But there are periods when sadness is a constant companion, like a little demon that follows you around and pokes your anus with its pitchfork.  So, I will now give you […more]

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Pennies: 2069 Greasy Gnome Gonads and Tacos

May 22, 2018 | | Say something

Boss Banky had been trying to murder Bo with a sword, but Bo escaped into the bathroom. After Bo prayed cursing God, suddenly Boss Banky walked away. Had God answered Bo’s prayer, or something? Bo timidly opened the bathroom door and poked his head out to look around. Boss Banky was nowhere in sight. But […more]

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Pennies: 2069 Fried Fuckstick Feast

Apr 30, 2018 | | Say something

Bo departed for work the next morning in a foul mood. He was upset because Boss Banky was going to chop off his fuckstick and eat it if he didn’t get the penny count right, and he knew that Boss Banky would make it almost impossible to succeed in saving his shaft. His commute to […more]

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Pennies: 2069 Ethical Education

Apr 30, 2018 | | Say something

Bo and his robot pal Ro Bo rode 40 stories up in the elevator and went back into Bo’s modest apartment. “Why do people treat you like that?” Ro Bo asked. “They ignored you. You are so interesting and important and yet they do not care for you.” Bo smiled sadly and said, “Ro Bo, […more]

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Pennies 2069: Deviant Dick Droid

Apr 30, 2018 | | Say something

When Bo finally made it home from work, his clothes in tatters and covered in bruises from being trampled by the herd of New Yorkers, he found that Ro Bo was masturbating on his couch. He had wires running up the sides of the 17 inch black dildo he had sown to his body and […more]

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Pennies: 2069 Chicken Cock Suey

Mar 24, 2018 | | Say something

“If you don’t get the penny count right today, if it’s off by even one penny, I’m not just going to smear shit in your face Bo. I’m gonna chop off your little Asian dick and make chicken cock suey. Then I’m going to eat your cock along with chicken and chopped vegetables right in […more]

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Your life is a distraction from the good you could be doing. Help others now.

Mar 15, 2018 | | Say something

How much time do you spend watching TV, talking with friends, drinking, playing games, and letting your screens suck your fucking soul out? Meanwhile, people and animals all over the world are dying and they need your help. There are starving, sick, and tortured beings out there who need your time, energy, and financial resources […more]

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