Dangerous Lies

Steal From Your Workplace (Or Anywhere)

May 6, 2016 | | Say something

They don’t pay you enough. I don’t know where you work or what you do, but you are being exploited for your labor and earning far less than the amount of wealth you actually produce. Your employer is USING you, the very same way a pimp uses a flappy-vag prostitute, and you just keep your […more]

Your Leader commands you to share this post.Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Reddit
Reddit
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter

Morthrod’s Masturbation Challenge

May 5, 2016 | | Say something

Whether you’re a man or a woman, I believe that you are under-utilizing the surest source of happiness that a human being has. Stimulating one’s own genitalia is a free and usually safe way to achieve a natural high that will make you forget about all those things people were depending on you to do. […more]

Your Leader commands you to share this post.Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Reddit
Reddit
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter

Marijuana Makes You Retarded

May 4, 2016 | | 1 comment

Weed is being legalized for recreational use now, already Washington, Colorado, and Washington D.C. have fallen to the Green Menace. Proponents of pot-smoking claim that it is harmless, much safer than alcohol, which makes people puke and beat the shit out of each other. They also make this claim, which is completely untrue: weed is […more]

Your Leader commands you to share this post.Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Reddit
Reddit
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter

My Ex-Girlfriend Is A Fucking Whore

May 4, 2016 | | Say something

I wish I had never lost my virginity. More specifically, I wish I had never met Tonya. What I am doing right now is wrong because she might end up seeing this. However, the lesson I learned is one that I want everyone to know: do not trust women who will have sex with you […more]

Your Leader commands you to share this post.Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Reddit
Reddit
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter

Save the World By Killing Yourself

Apr 28, 2016 | | Say something

Clearly, humans are the primary source of evil on the planet. You may not know this because you did not watch Earthlings. Well I did and that gives me the right to tell you what to do, for I am enlightened. Global warming is melting our planet’s ice cubes and soon our beverage will be […more]

Your Leader commands you to share this post.Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Reddit
Reddit
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter

Don’t Do What Your Parents Tell You To

Apr 23, 2016 | | Say something

Cleaning your room is a waste of fucking time. God damn it, I don’t want to go to bed at 10pm, I don’t care if I fall asleep at school tomorrow. And I want to masturbate to music videos on VH1 instead of doing my homework. Parents are old obsolete bitches, we as their replacements, […more]

Your Leader commands you to share this post.Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Reddit
Reddit
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter

Trees Can Talk

Apr 22, 2016 | | Say something

If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound? The answer is yes, it screams and screams. Trees can feel pain, both emotional and physical. Opportunity is knocking at your front door, the one made out of dead trees. Heed its call and murder a lumberjack. Sometimes, trees have weird knots in […more]

Your Leader commands you to share this post.Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Reddit
Reddit
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter

I Can’t Stop Fucking My Hand

Apr 4, 2016 | | Say something

This is a very serious problem that I have. When I try to tell my friends about it, they always end up telling me, “Shut the fuck up! Nobody wants to hear about your dick!” I have no hope of this issue ever being addressed. For years, in secret, I have repeatedly rubbed my erection […more]

Your Leader commands you to share this post.Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Reddit
Reddit
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter

I Ate Five Ativan Out of My Mom’s Purse

Apr 3, 2016 | | Say something

I am the greatest writer who ever lived. Reading my words is 100% guaranteed to make you smarter in every way. If you don’t like what I have to say, too bad, you’re far away in another room. Sorry if this is too real, but for hundreds of thousands of animals have had their corpses […more]

Your Leader commands you to share this post.Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Reddit
Reddit
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter

Concerning the Benefits of ISIS Membership

Mar 30, 2016 | | Say something

There’s a hot new terrorist organization on the scene, known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. Their noble attempt to establish a new Muslim caliphate is misunderstood by Western culture, as nobody who hasn’t read the Qur’an would see why this is such a vital undertaking. Many disagree with the methods they use […more]

Your Leader commands you to share this post.Share on Facebook
Facebook
Share on Reddit
Reddit
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter