All posts by Morthrod

Review of the Tupac Movie

Jun 19, 2017 | | Say something

There is a new movie about the rapper Tupac Shakur out, and I command you to go see it. The story is about a black person who makes a bunch of music and pretends to be some kind of civil rights leader. Tupac makes a lot of money but he is always low on it […more]

BLOOD OF CHRIST

Jun 7, 2017 | | Say something

Lou loved going to church. He believed in God and considered his faith the most valuable thing in his life. Every Sunday Morning, he would drive to the Church of Christ-God-Jesus-Mary-Joseph and join hundreds of other Christians from his upper-middle class suburban township. Lou walked into church an hour before the sermon on a beautiful […more]

No Heroin in Heaven

Jun 7, 2017 | | Say something

Jeremy stood facing the chalkboard, so close to it that some of his spiky blonde hair pressed against it. He had a rubber band wrapped tightly around his left bicep; it pressed deep into his skin. He rolled up the left sleeve of his black hoodie and felt around for one of his remaining good […more]

The Best Ways to Free Yourself from Existence

Apr 6, 2017 | | Say something

Life. It sucks balls. Our parents didn’t ask our permission to create us, which means we were existence raped. How can we undo this horrible mistake? Getting out of bed, having to do things, never having enough money for all the drugs we want; it’s almost like a demon designed our universe to cackle at […more]

Great Ways to Fuck With People

Feb 17, 2017 | | Say something

Human beings suck ass, unless they’re you. If you’re normal, you have a burning desire to sadistically harm others for the sake of a good laugh. Getting pleasure from the pain of others is what makes humans great. Therefore, being completely insane in both public and private will make good things happen. Don’t think about […more]

How to Deal With A Breakup

Feb 16, 2017 | | Say something

Once upon a time, I had a wonderful girlfriend. We hung out all the time and did activities together, including sexual ones. But now we has broke up, and I lost my best friend and someone who really enjoyed touching my penis. In dealing with this tragic loss, I have discovered many ways to deal with a […more]

White Castles in the Sky

Jan 4, 2017 | | Say something

I am writing this from a combination Church’s Chicken and White Castle. I made a New Year’s resolution to be less racist, so I will simply say a person of unspecified racial origin misheard my order and repeated it back to me in such a thick Indian accent that I couldn’t understand it. Those who […more]

Wendy’s Nonsense

Jan 1, 2017 | | Say something

I am in a Wendy’s in Canton, Michigan. Someone is babbling in a foreign language. It probably doesn’t sound like babbling to them, but it sure as shit does to me. They have an attractive redhead in the Wendy’s commercials, however the real Wendy who the restaurant was named after, the daughter of the founder, […more]

Ideas for a New Year’s Resolution

Dec 31, 2016 | | Say something

You might be wondering what new year’s resolution to make. Most people forget about their resolution within 6 weeks of making them, so the best resolution is the one that is easy to remember, or one that can be done in 6 weeks. The simplest resolutions are the best. Since I am a super genius I will […more]

Your Daily Horoscope

Dec 27, 2016 | | Say something

These apply to whatever day you read them and are 100% true, even if you think they aren’t. Today’s horoscope for Scorpio: you have often been cavalier about eating expired food, but today you can avoid diarrhea by playing by the rules. People are talking about you behind your back, but if you accuse them […more]