All posts by Morthrod


Feb 3, 2018 | | Say something

When we left off in the last part, Big Dick Monkey and the hippos, Mr. Hippo and Phyllis, had just pleasured and damaged Gayraff’s giraffe ass hole. Now the polar bear with dreadlocks and no tits returned and introduced herself as “RainSnow”. In his raspiest voice, Gayraff asked, “What have you brought to pleasure my […more]

How to be Cool

Jan 28, 2018 | | Say something

Let’s face it: we’re all empty inside and need the approval of others to fill the gaping void that is our soul. Here is how to be cool. If people like you, it’s almost like your life has meaning. Therefore, you should dedicate lots of time and energy to making people think you’re interesting and […more]

How to Pass the Time When You’re Bored in School

Jan 23, 2018 | | Say something

School fucking sucks. Everybody hates to learn, that’s just a fact. We need strategies to help us make it through the long goddman class periods, which we are forced to sit still during while our ears our raped with information we don’t want to learn. Nobody ever learned SHIT in school. Fuck school. Here’s how to pass […more]

Best Ways to Surprise Your Love on Valentine’s Day

Jan 21, 2018 | | Say something

Valentine’s day comes with high expectations. Romance is an art. Women expect things and if you don’t give them what they want, you will get no sex. Don’t underestimate the power of women. They have the vaginas you want to put your penis in. Follow this guide on how to treat your lady right come […more]

The Best Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Jan 18, 2018 | | Say something

Let’s face it, talking to your significant other is extremely difficult because you never have anything interesting to say to each other. Let me fix that. Instead of thinking of questions yourself, just use my guide and you’ll actually be able to talk to them for the first time in months! These are the best […more]


Jan 7, 2018 | | Say something

In our previous installment of CARTOON ANIMAL asshole CULT, Gayraff the bisexual giraffe quit his job at the dildo testing factory because he needed larger objects to please his anus. So, he tricked several animals and a Jew into his apartment and locked them inside. They are becoming his anus pleasing slaves at this very […more]


Jan 6, 2018 | | Say something

Once upon a time in a fictional world where animals talk and are basically like people, there was a giraffe named Gayraff. Gayraff was actually bisexual though. He was 16 feet tall with a 20-inch penis. When he talked he sounded a 90-year-old woman who had chain-smoked constantly for the last 85 years. He was […more]

Guest Post: Sex with dogs part 1, trip to the Dog Pound(ing my pussy)

Dec 3, 2017 | | Say something

I have always been interested in animals in a very sexual way. My name is Virginia Rose, and I am here to tell you all about the joys of having large dogs fuck you silly. When I was younger, just a teenager, I became ashamed of my attraction to dogs and cats. Whenever I told […more]

Officer Balls Part 3: Eat Shit and Thrive

Nov 19, 2017 | | Say something

Cucky heard him warn, “You make a run for it boy, and the next one goes in your nutsack. If you don’t give me no trouble, I won’t give you any either.” Cucky wondered what he meant by that. Weren’t they trying to be justice hammers? The criminal got into the backseat of the car […more]

Officer Balls Part 2: Cucky Helps Catch a Crackhead

Nov 19, 2017 | | Say something

“I’m just trying to do my job, son. It’s imperative that I keep intoxicated drivers off the road. Since you won’t do my walking test, I suppose I’ll have to see how you drive first-hand. Get in the car, boy. We’re going for a ride.” “Where are we going?” “Wherever the hell I tell you,” […more]