All posts by Morthrod

The Best Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Jan 18, 2018 | | Say something

Let’s face it, talking to your significant other is extremely difficult because you never have anything interesting to say to each other. Let me fix that. Instead of thinking of questions yourself, just use my guide and you’ll actually be able to talk to them for the first time in months! These are the best […more]


Jan 7, 2018 | | Say something

In our previous installment of CARTOON ANIMAL asshole CULT, Gayraff the bisexual giraffe quit his job at the dildo testing factory because he needed larger objects to please his anus. So, he tricked several animals and a Jew into his apartment and locked them inside. They are becoming his anus pleasing slaves at this very […more]


Jan 6, 2018 | | Say something

Once upon a time in a fictional world where animals talk and are basically like people, there was a giraffe named Gayraff. Gayraff was actually bisexual though. He was 16 feet tall with a 20-inch penis. When he talked he sounded a 90-year-old woman who had chain-smoked constantly for the last 85 years. He was […more]

Guest Post: Sex with dogs part 1, trip to the Dog Pound(ing my pussy)

Dec 3, 2017 | | Say something

I have always been interested in animals in a very sexual way. My name is Virginia Rose, and I am here to tell you all about the joys of having large dogs fuck you silly. When I was younger, just a teenager, I became ashamed of my attraction to dogs and cats. Whenever I told […more]

Officer Balls Part 3: Eat Shit and Thrive

Nov 19, 2017 | | Say something

Cucky heard him warn, “You make a run for it boy, and the next one goes in your nutsack. If you don’t give me no trouble, I won’t give you any either.” Cucky wondered what he meant by that. Weren’t they trying to be justice hammers? The criminal got into the backseat of the car […more]

Officer Balls Part 2: Cucky Helps Catch a Crackhead

Nov 19, 2017 | | Say something

“I’m just trying to do my job, son. It’s imperative that I keep intoxicated drivers off the road. Since you won’t do my walking test, I suppose I’ll have to see how you drive first-hand. Get in the car, boy. We’re going for a ride.” “Where are we going?” “Wherever the hell I tell you,” […more]

Officer Balls Part 1: Drunk Driver Gets a Testicle Taze

Nov 19, 2017 | | Say something

“Get out of the car! Put your hands where I can see them!” Officer Balls shouted in a southern accent. The driver could see his own reflection in the policeman’s silver sunglasses and noticed a slight cowlick in his messy brown hair. He reached up to smooth it down. Hold still you bastard!” Officer Balls […more]

Dude, You Should totally Purchase a Toothbrush from Amazon

Aug 27, 2017 | | Say something

An oral B pro electric toothbrush to be specific. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, I should convince you that it’s worthwhile to brush your teeth at all, or else why would you spend money on it? For many years I did not brush my teeth, only occasionally to prevent too much of that […more]

The Number One Reason to buy Rosetta Stone

Aug 22, 2017 | | 1 comment

Languages. Everyone speaks them. There are over 1 million languages worldwide and that number is growing every day. Rosetta Stone and the internet allows us to talk to people all over the world, but what’s the point if we can’t understand them? Airplanes allow us to travel the world, but why bother going somewhere where […more]

The Top 3 Farm Animals to Have Sex With

Aug 22, 2017 | | 2 comments

Ever since I was 12 years old, I have had a keen interest in having sex with farm animals. Most males, when they hit puberty, begin masturbating. Well, I didn’t need to masturbate. I lived on a farm/petting zoo, and there was plenty of free poontang and butt-tang to put my penis in. If you are […more]