Shortened Stories

The New New Testament 9

Aug 23, 2016 | | Say something

Jewsus gave his last and most important instructions of all to the 12 Wizard Dragons. “Spread the word, my most loyal followers, there are witches everywhere. They will often disguise themselves as old women, or even young women, and sometimes as dogs, cats, rocks or trees. A witch can turn herself into anything, and they […more]

Jack Goes To College

Aug 19, 2016 | | Say something

Once upon a time there was a man named Jack. He ate rabbit shit Raisin Bran for breakfast every day. As in he picked out the raisins and put rabbit shit in instead. This was the only meal he ate because after that he was high on amphetamines all day, which he was addicted to […more]

Lying For Sex Part 15

Aug 19, 2016 | | Say something

“Why don’t you just go get a private dance in the back and cum on one of the stripper’s hands. It would be easier than with me; I know all you are about is easy women,” Jessica bitches. This woman let me finger her yeast-infected vagina on the first date. Most women wait a little […more]

Don’t Read This

Aug 18, 2016 | | Say something

I met an old man who told me that he could give me magical powers. Of what kind, I asked. The power to see women naked, he replied. He showed me a website on the internet known as pornhub.com. After watching humans have sexual intercourse for a while, I became bored. I told the old […more]

Lying For Sex Part 14

Aug 16, 2016 | | Say something

When I return to the bar from the bathroom, I notice that Jessica has some down-time. She is looking into one of those hand-held mirrors and putting on more lipstick and adjusting her make-up in various ways. I watch her do this until she is finished. She turns around and sees me and smiles. “I […more]

The New New Testament 8

Aug 16, 2016 | | Say something

Jewsus spoke to his 12 most loyal and credulous followers, know as the Wizard Dragons. Throughout his speech he fondled his flaccid wiener, for he was a holy man, and never got to blow his load. So it felt extra super good when he fondled his flop. “Never be afraid of human beings. All that […more]

Doctor Morthrod 4

Aug 13, 2016 | | Say something

Dextromethorphan, when digested in syrup form, can take a while to absorb into the bloodstream. Food eaten before the red invasion can take priority in the digestive system, delaying its absorption into the bloodstream. Syrup can slide behind a large load of food and not be broken down until up to two hours later. Doctor […more]

The New New Testament 7

Aug 13, 2016 | | Say something

Jewsus began touring the Midwest, getting rides from homosexual truckers with ulterior motives to major cities such as Cincinnati, Chicago, Cleveland, Lansing, and Indianapolis. He yelled in their churches, taught them about the coming pleasures of the Cloud Land that they would have as long as they did what he said, and healed many Americans […more]

Lying For Sex Part 13

Aug 12, 2016 | | Say something

At the end of the bar, a Mexican wearing a sombrero made of taco shells calls over Jessica so that she can pour him another shot of tequila. Like most strip clubs, “Titties” plays that song that says “She’s my cherry pie,” every thirty minutes and it makes me want to give myself a bleach […more]

Extremely Gay

Aug 11, 2016 | | Say something

His cock pierced my face like a scream pierces the ears, harshly and painfully. But the taste. It was the most delicious meaty taste imaginable, a hot summer sausage with bitter salty goo leaking out of the tip. He held my skull still and humped forcefully, his strong muscular back and hips driving his thick […more]