Cleaning your room is a waste of fucking time. God damn it, I don’t want to go to bed at 10pm, I don’t care if I fall asleep at school tomorrow. And I want to masturbate to music videos on VH1 instead of doing my homework. Parents are old obsolete bitches, we as their replacements, should be their god and leaders, not the other way around. They don’t know shit about drugs, how could they if they don’t even do them any more? Or never did? Their drug is ethyl alcohol, and that’s sure as shit worse for you then LSD. On an unrelated note, when I am your leader that is what I will replace the fluoride in the tap water with.
Condoms are for pussies, Dad. Don’t give me any talks. Mom, I’m sorry I broke your vagina, but if you want the house vacuumed, you do it. Nobody else gives a shit. You see, your parents want you to be robot slaves like them when you grow up, working for the man all day and coming home to oppress your own children. Eat as many cookies as you want and smoke crack at the dinner table. Piss in your dad’s whiskey. Fart on your mom’s dildo.
I am on drugs. When parents hit their kids it’s their way of saying, “I relinquish my moral authority. No command I give you from this point is valid, I am a terrible role model who should be ignored.” When a parent grounds a child, he teaches them that society’s best solution for wrongdoing is to lock people in a small room, which will undoubtedly inspire the child to have an anarchist philosophy. Society is a retard. Stop respecting your elders.