Ghosts Watch You Poop

May 26, 2016 | | Say something

There are things that are made out of the only two real things in our universe, matter and energy, and then there are magical things, like souls. Souls were discovered by Jesus when he went 40 days without water, which as we all know is impossible. How did he do it then? SOUL POWER. This is the same force that allows Jesus to live in your heart and cry when you masturbate. But he isn’t the only one who still alive even though they’re dead. Literally everyone is! All human souls continue to exist on Earth after their physical shells die. What is left behind is spirit, AKA magical floating people.

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Did you know? An offensive term for an African American is “spook”.

There are billions of disembodied spirits, or ghosts, floating around the surface of the Earth. Which means there are at least a few in the room you are in. They like to stay inside so they can maintain their pale complexion. One horrible stereotype about ghosts is that all they care about is haunting people, or are disturbed in some way. When really they’re just happy to be alive. You can’t see them, but they can see you. Because of this two way mirror effect, they get to see all sorts of sexy and exciting shit.

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This is a faggot in a bed sheet. Know the difference!

Have you ever sat down on the toilet, felt like something came out, but then looked in the bowl and saw nothing? That happens because a ghost literally eats your shit as it comes out of your anus. Ghosts live for that shit, specifically, human shit. Feces is more euphoric to a ghost than heroincokemeth is to a human. By the way, they watch us when we masturbate or fuck. They’re not as interested in that, though.

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Ghosts need poop to live

 

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Posted in: Public Service Announcements, Uncategorized

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