How to Become a Slut

Aug 22, 2018 | | Say something

Everyone likes sex. If you want to have as much sex as possible, you’ll have to become a slut, someone who sleeps with basically anyone. “But how do I get laid that much?” you might ask. “I want to have sex with a bunch of people, but most people don’t want to have sex with me, even if I ask, which I usually don’t.” Well, worry no more, horny person. Your New Leader is about to guide you to success.

This man holds the world record for sex, having mounted over 10,000 women. He attributes his sexual stamina to a strict diet of curry and rice.

I’ll break this brilliance into two sections, one for men and one for females. Men, you’ll have a tougher time becoming a slut, unless you’re gay, which you should at least give a try. A man has to compete with other males, all of whom have absolutely no standards on what they’ll let their dick sneeze inside of. In order to get an edge on the competition, you’ll have to… Send fraudulent dick pics! First, strike up a conversation with a woman over social media. Don’t be afraid to lie. Wait for at least a few responses from her before you strike. (Remember, if she’s not replying fast enough, be sure to let her know!) Then, without asking, send her a picture of a giant porn star penis that you found on the internet. Make sure they have the same skin color as you. When they see that huge fucking monster dong “you have”, they’ll immediately ask for sex and send you every nude picture they’ve ever taken of themselves. Congratulations, stud slut!

What you look like to a woman after you send a surprise dick pic

Dear women, being a slut is easier than you can possibly imagine. Surely, you get many unwanted advances from men on a regular basis. Turn those unwanted and creepy advances into wanted ones with a simple mind trick. Think, “I can do this. I can be a slut. I can have sex with every man who asks!” Now that you’re empowered, start sending nude photos to everyone who approaches you, along with your address. You did it! Sex! New men will hear about how open and free-spirited you are and ask for sex too. You’re welcome. Keep your eyes closed if you don’t like how they look.

People will get jealous and point at you though, female sluts. Sorry, I know society sucks.

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