Weed is being legalized for recreational use now, already Washington, Colorado, and Washington D.C. have fallen to the Green Menace. Proponents of pot-smoking claim that it is harmless, much safer than alcohol, which makes people puke and beat the shit out of each other. They also make this claim, which is completely untrue: weed is not addictive. Hey asshole, if it’s not addictive, then why can’t we stop smoking it?
90% of marijuana-smokers have an IQ under 70, which qualifies them as legally retarded (I don’t mean that they’re bad lawyers). IQ tests taken prior to the start of their uncontrollable addiction average out at 94, which means that although the person who tries marijuana is undoubtedly less intelligent than average, it was IN FACT getting high that made them stupid. Weed users have trouble focusing on anything besides TV and music, fuck up your order at fast-food restaurants, can’t spell their own names, wipe their asses with Kleenex and get shit on their fingers, and stay in one spot for way too damn long.
Also, there’s all this nonsense about weed being healthy and helping with cancer and AIDS and epilepsy. Fuck you, weed is illegal under federal law, it is a Schedule 1 substance like crack or heroin. The government knows best, that’s why it’s in charge. People get angry because police break into houses and tear them apart looking for a harmless plant. Think about the children! Would you want your teenage daughter to be hooking on the street corner for her next rock of weed, offering toothless blowjobs because she got high instead of going to the dentist?
Next time you want to buy a bag of weed, flush that money you were going to spend down the toilet. Paradoxically, it will save you money because your marijuana addiction will not be reinforced, and you’ll be less likely to pick up next time. Also, you’ll have the increased energy and mental clarity to plan that bank robbery or Ponzi scheme you’ve been dreaming about. Stop smoking weed and help make the world a better place.
Posted in: Public Service Announcements