Dangerous Lies

Officer Balls Part 1: Drunk Driver Gets a Testicle Taze

Nov 19, 2017 | | Say something

“Get out of the car! Put your hands where I can see them!” Officer Balls shouted in a southern accent. The driver could see his own reflection in the policeman’s silver sunglasses and noticed a slight cowlick in his messy brown hair. He reached up to smooth it down. Hold still you bastard!” Officer Balls […more]

How to Survive a Hurricane: My Hurricane Harvey Story

Sep 1, 2017 | | Say something
how to survive a hurricane

Texas sucks but at least I know how to survive a hurricane.  I’m sorry for the hundreds of lives that have been lost but it really isn’t that hard to come out the victor. You see, people have a hard time thinking about All the Small Things since they are so worried about the big […more]

Dude, You Should totally Purchase a Toothbrush from Amazon

Aug 27, 2017 | | Say something

An oral B pro electric toothbrush to be specific. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, I should convince you that it’s worthwhile to brush your teeth at all, or else why would you spend money on it? For many years I did not brush my teeth, only occasionally to prevent too much of that […more]

The Number One Reason to buy Rosetta Stone

Aug 22, 2017 | | 1 comment

Languages. Everyone speaks them. There are over 1 million languages worldwide and that number is growing every day. Rosetta Stone and the internet allows us to talk to people all over the world, but what’s the point if we can’t understand them? Airplanes allow us to travel the world, but why bother going somewhere where […more]

The Top 3 Farm Animals to Have Sex With

Aug 22, 2017 | | 3 comments

Ever since I was 12 years old, I have had a keen interest in having sex with farm animals. Most males, when they hit puberty, begin masturbating. Well, I didn’t need to masturbate. I lived on a farm/petting zoo, and there was plenty of free poontang and butt-tang to put my penis in. If you are […more]

Horoscopes for 7/23/2017

Jul 25, 2017 | | Say something

Today’s horoscope for Sagittarius: Fuck you for breaking my heart. Today’s horoscope for Cancer: You may be tempted to avenge your father’s death from cancer by going into a hospital and pissing on doctors’ shoes. Dont! Go downtown and fight homeless people instead. They deserve anything bad that happens to them. Today’s horoscope for Taurus: […more]

How to be Great at Selling Drugs

Jul 18, 2017 | | Say something

The best job you could possibly have is to be a drug dealer. No other job in the world earns a higher income and gets more respect from the community. Your new leader commands you to quit your job and start selling drugs! There are risks, but if you’re smart and follow my guide, there is […more]

This Website Will Survive, Motherfuckers

Jul 10, 2017 | | Say something

My name is Michael Ericson and I am better than all of you. That’s not an insult to you, that’s a compliment to me. You’re not bad, I just made you look bad. I created this website 20 months ago to give you my malevolent wisdom, AKA terrible advice, racism, and megalomaniacal nonsense. I’m like […more]

Review of the Tupac Movie

Jun 19, 2017 | | Say something

There is a new movie about the rapper Tupac Shakur out, and I command you to go see it. The story is about a black person who makes a bunch of music and pretends to be some kind of civil rights leader. Tupac makes a lot of money but he is always low on it […more]


Jun 7, 2017 | | Say something

Lou loved going to church. He believed in God and considered his faith the most valuable thing in his life. Every Sunday Morning, he would drive to the Church of Christ-God-Jesus-Mary-Joseph and join hundreds of other Christians from his upper-middle class suburban township. Lou walked into church an hour before the sermon on a beautiful […more]