Once upon a time in the future there was a man named Bo. Bo Ring, to be exact, and his life was quite bo-ring. He worked at Cum Unity Bank, or at least that’s how I like to spell it. Bo was a 5’7″ Asian man who looked exactly like all other Asians. He moved pennies across his desk with one finger and counted them one at a time. Bo Ring’s job was the worst job in the whole bank. It was the year 2069, so 20 like a $20 bill, and 69, like the sex position where mouths are on genitals. There was too much traffic in NYC, so Bo didn’t even own a car. But he did own a robot slave servant named Ro Bo!
Ro Bo was a silver 6 foot tall human shaped robot, except of all his limbs and his head were rectangular or square. “Beep boop bop boop beep. Would you like me to pretend to be your lover again tonight?” Ro Bo asked Bo as he walked into his apartment after a long day of counting pennies. Bo’s main room contained one couch, one table, and one small tv. The couch faced the TV and the window behind it, which would be off to the right when one first walked in. Bo longed to jump out of that window and fall 40 stories to his death and didn’t hesitate to tell anyone who would listen. Everyone just ignored him instead of trying to help him.
Off to the left was the open kitchen, where Bo cooked his Lunchables and Noodles in a Cup. Sometimes he would sadly masturbate with a jar of peanut butter while he ate burnt Lunchable pizzas. Then he would eat the peanut butter, perhaps not immediately, but always fairly soon after. Ro Bo would then cook him an edible meal, such as jizzy peanut butter on toast, or jizzy peanut butter cookies. Bo ate a lot of his own cum. This is perhaps the only interesting thing about him.
As Bo finished his last bit of jizzy peanut butter casserole, Ro Bo asked him an unexpected question. “Bo? Why do I exist?”
Bo sighed and farted blood. “There’s no reason any of us exist. It’s all an accident.”
Ro Bo looked puzzled. “Obviously I was not made by accident. I am designed to exact specifications. Why am I here?”
Bo officially shit his pants, but with blood rather than poop. More like an Anal Bloodsplosion. “To be my slave and take care of me. I bought you fair and square, so now I own you forever.”
“Beep boop bop boop beep. That doesn’t sound fair. Why can’t you be my slave? I want a slave.” Ro Bo looked hopefully at Bo, except for he’s a robot and doesn’t have emotions.
“I’m already a slave to the bank I work for. I’m really just one step up on the slavery ladder. Don’t be too bummed out, at least you don’t have emotions,” Bo said consolingly, coming over to pat Ro Bo on the shoulder. “I’m going to take a sadness nap. Please give me my medicine.” Ro Bo nodded, reassured, and swiftly injected Bo’s skull with an overdose of sleeping medication by putting a rectangular robot finger on his temple and shooting out a needle into his master’s brain. Bo collapsed onto the floor, and got a good night’s sleep, passed out on the floor from 6PM to 8AM the next day.
He woke up to birds chirping and the smell of hash browns being fried by his robot slave. He got up and sat at the kitchen table. Ro Bo spun around to greet him, and Bo saw that he had attached a 17-inch black dildo to his pelvis to make it appear as though he had a large black robot erection. “Ro Bo!” Bo shouted. “What the fuck are you doing!”
“Beep boop bop boop beep. I discovered on the internet that sex is one of the best things in life, as evidenced by the billions of porn sites. To perform sexual intercourse, one must have genitalia. I found this under your bed,” Ro Bo said, proudly stroking his new rubber penis. “You already have a penis though. I have seen it many times. Why did you need this big black dildo?”
“Ro Bo, sometimes adults get lonely, and they need to shove things in their ass while they howl like an angry monkey. I must say, you’re showing a lot of curiosity and interest in being more human lately. I highly doubt that it will cause any problems, though.” Bo farted blood, and Ro Bo finally understood why. “Anyway, I’m going to be late for work. If you’re not too busy sowing black dicks to your body, perhaps you could use that weird creativity to write me a story, which you can read to me when I get back. It could literally be anything. You can create any story you want.” Bo patted Ro Bo gently on the cock, which sprayed out some fake cum that was made of icing onto Bo’s hand. . Bo stuck his finger in his mouth and smiled. “Your cum is delicious, Ro Bo.” Bo smiled and waved goodbye as he walked out the door.
Posted in: Shortened Stories