Robitussin Is the Future

Nov 17, 2015 | | 6 comments

Get high on cough medicine. This is a direct order from your new leader. I will now explain in detail how to do so.

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Don’t fall asleep it’s a waste of a high

Robitussin-Coupon

On sale for $0.00

What you’re looking for is dextromethorphan, not codeine cough syrup, which is for ignorant thugs. DXM is a thinking man’s drug, although many morons partake as well. DXM-containing cough syrup is Robitussin, Delsym, Dayquil/Nyquil, all the cough syrups you can find on store shelves. But before I teach you how to harvest it, let’s take a look around your very own home!
Go into all bathrooms and rifle through the medicine cabinets. Inspect any container with medicine pertaining to cough and colds. If you find Dextromethorphan HBr in the ingredients, score!!! DRINK IT ALL. If it’s syrup, pinch your nose while chugging and have another liquid to wash it down with handy.

 

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This is the best fucking picture ever

You may find yourself in the unfortunate situation of not having any DXM in your house. If this is the case, you will have to buy some (most places require ID proving you’re 18+). Otherwise steal it, it’s extremely easy to get away with and it makes you cool as fuck. If you are under 18 you probably already know that society doesn’t know shit and rules are for faggots.

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I do not drink Robitussin to cure coughs

You now have all the directions you need to succeed, so I’ll give you some info on what you’re in for. Assuming you DRANK THE WHOLE THING and are new to this, you will feel weird, hot, itchy, and nauseous within the first hour. If you puke congratulations, you’re a badass. After the first hour has passed you may have trouble moving, experience double vision, sweat profusely, find yourself communicating telepathically with aliens and dead ancestors, feel like you are Jesus Christ, become unable to ejaculate or feel your penis, see things inside your head, and be scared shitless. If you have a bad trip, try it again in a week, and don’t give up. Eventually you will be hopelessly addicted, at which point, YOU FUCKING WIN! Your prize is cough medicine, which you should now be impulsively seeking out and consuming.

 

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We have much to learn from him

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Never should have freed the slaves

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Posted in: Public Service Announcements, Uncategorized

6 Responses

  1. Ralph Lake is referring to himself as he finds himself unable to obtain DXM.

    I feel you, Ralph. One day you’ll be able to memorize all the letters in dextromethorphan long enough to look for it in the ingredients…and that same week you might pass tenth grade English! Good luck, Ralph!

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