Sitting on a Closed Toilet Seat and having Your Balls Squished

Feb 25, 2017 | | Say something

 We all make mistakes. Some are intentional, some are by miscalculation. Washing your hair with toothpaste is an unintentional mistake that will leave you with sticky follicles that will take days to dissipate the gooey mess of fluoride on your scalp. These mistakes, no matter how much you blame yourself for are life lessons that will be learned throughout your life.  When they happen in your adult life they are what defines the fact that we are constantly learning and building callous. My most precious fuckups are the ones I hold dearest to my heart and wish they would have been imprinted in my brain at an earlier age. Your parents are too busy telling you to not start forest fires and stepping on people’s grass to stamp these minor self-learned mistakes into your brain. Even in this very article, I am making the mistake of communicating clearly.

Of course, there are other people to blame for these mistakes, or else they would be your own faulted mistakes. I know you think that it was your blunder that you forgot to plug in your phone last night and woke up late for work from a dead alarm clock, but it is not. Your guts needed this to happen in order for your next oversight to be seen before it happens. It’s these minor mistakes that don’t matter in a grand scheme to allow yourself to detect future major mistakes from happening. Avoiding a toxic relationship that could result in a learned lesson is an achievement that you could avoid by just sitting on a closed toilet seat and having your balls squished for a second. A single second of ball crushing surprise could save you months of traction and turmoil with a partner that is the equivalent of burnt bacon. Not in the taste sense, but you could have cooked that bacon the correct way if only you burned it the first time. Please notice these inconsequential mistakes and internalize them. Apply them to major life decisions and relate what you’ve learned from these secondary slights to possible mistakes that deserve the word mistake.

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