How to Survive a Hurricane: My Hurricane Harvey Story

Sep 1, 2017 | | Say something

Texas sucks but at least I know how to survive a hurricane.  I’m sorry for the hundreds of lives that have been lost but it really isn’t that hard to come out the victor. You see, people have a hard time thinking about All the Small Things since they are so worried about the big things in this world like hurricanes. Have you ever been in a wave pool? This is very similar to being in a hurricane but a little less urine.  The secret to surviving a wave pool thus surviving a hurricane is to follow the Boy Scout motto. BE PREPARED. I bought this floaty toy for some fun in the pool and hot plastic on my butt.

how to survive a hurricane

That’s right, I survived one of the worst hurricanes in history with a pineapple floaty toy.  The waters were raging but the stem stayed stalwart as I made my way to shores outside of Texas and looked back upon the wrath of Hurricane Harvey with pineapple in stow. I will cherish this goofy pool toy for the rest of my life and pass it down to my adopted Ethiopian kids since I’m such a nice guy.  All of this high-roading aside I really do urge you to prepare yourself for the inevitable hurricane to hit your area. Inflatable Pineapple Pool Float Raft [VICKEA®] Large Outdoor Swimming Pool Inflatable Float Toy Floatie Lounge Toy for Adults.  Even when I used it for its intended purpose of just taking of space in a pool it performed great and kept me afloat and away from the shivering wetness.  It can hold about three adult humans or two adult humans and a Saint Bernard(BE PREPARED).  I don’t know exactly how many kids it can hold since when I post Craigslist ads requesting mass amounts of children to test the stability of a raft, only two adult humans came to my door and nobody answered my ad.

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Posted in: Public Service Announcements

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