The Best Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Jan 18, 2018 | | Say something

Let’s face it, talking to your significant other is extremely difficult because you never have anything interesting to say to each other. Let me fix that. Instead of thinking of questions yourself, just use my guide and you’ll actually be able to talk to them for the first time in months! These are the best questions to ask your girlfriend or boyfriend!

  1. Is there anything awful I should know about you? Like something that would make me never want to talk to you again? This question weeds out many a bad partner. It is great because it will make your partner feel guilty about all the things they are hiding from you. This gives you power, which you can then use against your love.
  2. Have you ever killed someone or done unspeakable things? 9 out of 10 people are murderers.
  3. Have you ever had a crush on an animal? You might just find that you share some interests after all.
  4. How much shit can you fit in your mouth? Bring out their competitive nature. Whoever wins gets to eat all the shit.
  5. What do you hate most about me? This may lead to a massive fight, then you can have awesome break-up sex. Or no sex and then you’re alone. Feel persecuted when they answer for best results, then lash out.
  6. Have you ever farted so hard you shit your pants? Lets you know if they have a loose butthole. Pics or it didn’t happen.
  7. What’s the worst lie you’ve ever told me? They’re going to lie about this.
  8. Would you still love me if I got a sex change? They won’t want to say no, but no.
  9. Why are you so pretty? This is not a question with a real answer. But it will get you genital brownie points.
  10. Would you still love me if I was black? They won’t want to say no, but no.
  11. What would you do if I got AIDS? Would you still have unprotected sex with me? Condoms suck for both men and women. If they really love you, they’ll say yes.
  12. if i WAS DEAD, WOULD YOU STILL HAVE SEX WITH ME? Yell this in a public place. Women especially love it when you embarrass them in public. It activates a secret hormone in their pussy which makes them seem angry when they are actually aroused.
  13. Would you stay with me if I was made of vegetables? If you get in a horrible accident, you’ll need someone to change your diaper.
  14. I’m a racist. Are you okay with this? Just get it over with. They already know and if they’re still around, they’re secretly racist too. Make out over your bigotry.
  15. Would you have sex with Hitler? Hitler is dead. Another chance to find out about some of their cool kinks. #sex with bones
  16. Why are you so fucking stupid? This is a test.
  17. Do you actually think you’re attractive to me? Attractive to anyone? Die you fucking idiot. If they’re confident with their appearance, they’ll brush this off and laugh loudly. Then they’ll remind you why they’re attractive. If they cry, it’s because they know they’re ugly. Find someone hotter.
  18. I fucking hate you. Let’s break up and never speak again. Are you sad? If they’re not sad that means they don’t love you. Make them sad by saying mean things if they aren’t already. Then say, “Just kidding! I’m going to stalk you for the rest of your life.”

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