Uses For Cum

Oct 10, 2016 | | Say something

Most men act like there are no uses for cum. They waste their valuable sperm/semen solution by spraying it into women or onto blankets and tissues and towels. Reproduction? Unnecessary! There are too many humans on this planet anyway; try driving around at 5 P.M. and you’ll realize that we need less people, not more. Getting the blanket you sleep under all crusty and gross isn’t the way to go either. You can flip the blanket over each night after cumming so you don’t get any part of your body wet, but who knows what will happen in the middle of the night? Plus my dog licks the areas where I jizz a lot and it bothers me.

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This is a real towel that you can buy

However, you don’t need to waste your precious cum loads. There are many uses for cum. Cum is adhesive, so it can be used as glue; cum on your freshly cut pubes and put them on your face in the shape of a beard. Looking good, Abraham Lincoln! It makes an excellent condiment, to be used on toast or burgers. Use it as a sauce to dip your fries and chips in. Or just eat it by itself, straight from the natural source, a man’s urethra. One of the finest uses for cum is as hair gel. It gets crusty and hard and the hold factor is a 10 out of 10. Put cum on your toothbrush, cum turns white when it dries and it will make your smile beautiful. Cum is great for moisturizing the skin, apply it liberally as a lotion. Put cum into your pen and use it as invisible ink. Put cum on your hand and shake people’s hands. Or if you want to save your cum for later, carefully pour it back into your penis hole.

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SO MANY uses for cum! It’s the new miracle drug! Drink it in the morning and you’ll have energy all day. Cancer? Cum! Snort cum through a straw and have trouble breathing through your nose! Put cum in your anus and feel like a princess! Cum is great for depression, get a dose of fresh cum every day and your troubles will melt away. Cum is the cure-all for every disease, ailment and malady imaginable. If you want to get trippy, drink an entire bottle of cum medicine and you’ll feel like you’re in outer space. Cum is your friend. Cum loves you!!!

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