Wendy’s Nonsense

Jan 1, 2017 | | Say something

I am in a Wendy’s in Canton, Michigan. Someone is babbling in a foreign language. It probably doesn’t sound like babbling to them, but it sure as shit does to me. They have an attractive redhead in the Wendy’s commercials, however the real Wendy who the restaurant was named after, the daughter of the founder, was morbidly obese. The food makes you fat. Don’t go to Wendy’s, they will murder you with their fatty food, the same way the cows were murdered to make it.

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I would get a jaw cramp from that

Old people rule the world and we need a youth revolution to remove them from power. There should be a new law removing freedom of speech from the elderly. Jesus Christ would approve, I know because he told me in a dream. “Stop letting the old people tell you what to do,” he told me while he sat naked in his wine-filled Jacuzzi on the back patio of his massive heaven mansion. Jesus Christ is rich and a king in heaven because the kingdom of heaven belongs to the rich in spirit. This is in the Bible. I did not get to see the cock of Christ, because it was obscured by alcoholic grape juice which was also somehow his blood. By the way, Jesus is made of crackers.

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I see no strippers

What the hell am I talking about? I am sitting facing the corner of this Wendy’s/Tim Hortons, like a mentally handicapped child wearing a tall, white conical hat. Did they really do that to kids? What the fuck does that teach? Besides that people are cruel and that life sucks.

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Say “No way!” to the KKK

I am a philosopher now. Having faith in humanity is like having faith in the devil. Any support that you give it will never reform it; it will only increase its destructive powers. Therefore, (I just sneezed without covering my mouth) we need some kind of human extinction event. We should make a law that the only time people can have sex is if one of them has AIDS and the sex has to be unprotected.

I wonder if this is a real sign.

Now I am a insane person. I need anti-psychotic medication because I keep seeing myself die while I’m driving. Bananas keep telling me to start breeding flies so that I can kill them with fire. The Aztecs did human sacrifice, but thanks to the social justice warriors, that’s no longer possible. The PC police are killing America by discouraging me from hate speech. Fuckers. Internet porn is destroying my brain and turning me into a pervert.

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Clever.

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